So, today I had a mini photoshoot for both Candence watches and for Plugged Inn: An Electric Cabaret. We shot at Penn Treaty Park. The fog was beautiful and added something special to each shot, as did the cold.
I have to admit, for a while during the shoot i felt insane. I am still a little insecure abi out my hair. I think because it is such a drastic change, and I have not gotten used to it. So, I’m presenting myself to the world, but I don’t feel 100% confident in my appearance. Thats not a good feeling… if you can imagine. But, I am happy I did it. I wanted something different. I didnt want t to be so safe.
I dont really even have time to be insecure about it though, because Plugged Inn: An Electric Cabaret is coming up so fast. I’ve started rehearsals, but was not prepared for how difficult it would be. Pretty much, I’m attempting to put on a super bowl half time show, creating all the material myself (music, lyrics, choreography), with no budget & limited availability from my dancers. Its fun, but it is VERY SCARY. Sometimes I wish I had someone else… an assistant director… someone to give me input and think with me. I spend hours going over choreography and trying new things. Im excited, but nervous at the same time. This is all I want to do with my life, so I better be good at it.
Also, I feel myself changing so much recently, its scary. Change happening very fast. The way I think about things, the way I deal with things, all changing…fast. Also, I feel differently about my relationships with others. I want to be more honest with people, not that I wasn’t before, but now I just want to get to the point about things and stop playing around. I also just want to have fun.
So, over all I am happy, scared & excited. I plan to work harder than I ever have before to make this show the best thing Philadelphia has ever seen