it’s cool, it’s fun, i like it alot

So I got the photos back from my photoshoot and I am really excited about them. They look great. I was a little concerned they were not going to turn out okay, but, yay, they did!
Sebastian

Work has continued on the cabaret, which is great. The dancers seem to really be having fun. When I teach the dancers something they have been getting really excited about it, which makes me more excited. I can’t wait for people to see the show. I have been bringing it up to almost every person I meet and giving them a postcard. Someone I just met yesterday actually saved it in their calendar, right in front of me, and said, “see you there!” That was awesome. go to our facebook to get more info!

I have also been doing silent night at the academy of music for the opera company of philadelphia. At first, I was not enjoying myself and while the process is still far from perfect for many different reasons, the cast has been making it enjoyable. The chorus has been so much fun in this opera, not that they are usually boring, but they are usually less social. It makes me happy and sort of makes all the idiocracy we deal with worth it. One thing this opera has taught me is that it is the least inspiring thing in the world to have a rehearsal process centered around recreating something you have already done….

Another thing I have noticed, I have my issues, we all do. I try very hard to deal with mine and become a better person. One issue I just realized I had is not accepting that someone cares about me. Weird, I know. When someone shows me they care, I subconsciously find reasons as to why they “really don’t care” to push them away. It is, by far, one of the dumbest issues I have every had. I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe that someone cares about me that I care about, let alone that they love me. But, we’ll take one step at a time here. I am learning to trust people…. not everyone. But, trust that if someone tells me they care, and shows me with their behavior… they mean it, until proven otherwise. It is very… very scary. Mostly the idea of getting hurt. I keep alot of people at such a great distance, just in my mind even. I come up with reasons why we aren’t/shouldn’t be close… so when someone finally makes their way in there, I think to myself “what are you doing here and who do you work for?” #crazy

I won’t do that anymore…

Lastly, I want to add something new to every post I do. I want to leave you with Britney Spears lyrics. I have noticed how absolutely insane some of them sound on paper and I want to share, so here we go….

what would it take for you to just leave with me?
not tryna sound conceited but me and you were meant to be
youre a sexy guy im a nice girl
lets turn this dance floor into our own little nasty world
….get nasty

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