I’m finding myself disillusioned by the world, people, “artists” in particular. I just don’t understand. These people claim to be something, present themselves as something, answer to the name of something…. But, they aren’t. They are not something. It is ambitious that they pursued the idea, but it is almost disrespectful at the same time.
You are not capable of doing the job you carry the title of. Respect. The respect is not there. It is the first sign something is not right. There is a certain amount of respect that should be there when collaborating with someone who is serious about their work. That lack of respect, that lack of listening, that lack of attention is the first indication. How is it you can work with someone that is “something” and they not see the light in you, but you can meet someone for 10 minutes and there is just something there…. you just know, they just know…. how serious you are about your work, the talent that lies underneath, the person that is there & the person that will be?
When I meet people, I feel like I see them. Inside them. Most people are reflecting. Not really showing who they are…. which only helps show a piece of who they are. When you find someone who is open and waiting for you to read a page, it is the most exciting thing.
Imposters are everywhere. It is a frightening thing. A disappointing thing. I want nothing more than to create my work, work that I am proud of. Performing is the only time I feel I am doing something right. A very vulnerable position to be in and I do not wish to share that experience with individuals I feel are not genuine or people who do not feel. It is a step I am sure many a performer has taken. Deciding what you are willing to do, who you are willing to work with, what you are aiming to get from performing, the people you want to surround yourself with.
I will create my own environment. Pursue my own ideas. Bring the light I have inside.
Be the thing I am.