Beyonce’s Lament: The Billion Dollar Burden


It is clear that Beyoncé aims to appropriate the nation’s wealth before the planned US economic collapse in an effort to secure her financial future. Two world tours in a year, a secret album and now a potential Beyoncé Platinum Edition? However, Beyoncé has made it clear that she can’t handle the burden of all of our money, as can be heard in her lament on the remix to her song “Flawless”.

“Of course sometimes shit goes down when there’s a billion dollars in the elevator.”


And frankly my love for Beyoncé is what motivates me to protect her. I want to save her from the shit going down in the elevator and the billion dollars. So, I plan to hold on to my $14.99 this go round and maybe use it for… I don’t know… food? Maybe water? I hear California is almost out of drinking water. Maybe I’ll save the money for the imminent need for an Ebola vaccination, as per the government’s plan.

I love Queen B as much as the rest of them, but she is picking the worst economic times to collect tax after tax from her peasants. Has anyone else heard about her Ath-leisure venture with Topshop? Athletic, leisure wear? Can anyone even afford their student loans anymore? Hell, we’ve got to pay for our own health care… like, it’s technically a tax, we have to, which of course has led to employers reducing employees to part-time status in an effort to shift the economic burden or teachers in PA who have to pay a larger portion of their healthcare.

There isn’t much that can reduce Beyoncé’s legacy (aside from a mishap like Janet Jackson’s Superbowl performance that pretty much gave parliament the right to remove her from the throne, leaving it wide open for B). Nothing can take away from her talent, dedication and beauty, but I think Queen B might be finding herself on the wrong side of the impending class war that is sure to hit the US. Hell, we’re poor and she’s got a billion dollars… and we gave it to her…

Yes, I am well aware that there are plenty of other entrepreneurs and businesses that continue to make tons of money off the American people. I’ve merely chosen to use Queen B as an example to illustrate our role in all this. We have a responsibility too. Who are you supporting with your money? Who could you be supporting? And how might that affect the economy? These are just thoughts… after all, what do I know? I’m just a Philly based performer.


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