I haven’t been this content in a very long time. My Kickstarter is at about 35% of its goal with a little under 3 weeks to go. A new living situation is on the rise. I’m excited to create work that I’m proud of, that I can relentlessly work at perfecting.
I am of course aware of all the things that can “go wrong” with the above mentioned, but I guess the most important thing for me is that I now know, worrying about it won’t change anything. So, I do the best I can, push my hardest, us my smarts and whatever happens, happens. This feeling, for someone who would stress over picking the right shirt for the day, is refreshing.
I am currently rehearsing Fin, a grand burlesque in two acts and the process has brought me back to my roots. In this production, I portray a character named Armand a rather collected vampire with a conscience. It’s the first time I picked up a script and sought to create a character in over a year. It’s taking me back to the root of performance, which for me is in the character. Finding a character, being the character, letting the character take over. Having been away from theatre for so long, I find that my growth as a person only helps this process, helps me think less of my self and potential insecurities as a performer and more about just being. I am excited to continue growing and exploring.
My new goal in life is to remove the limits I have placed on myself, limits I wasn’t even aware of. I will trust myself and do the things I dream up instead of letting the doubts and potential struggles bring me down. I met a man recently who spoke of his plans to visit China over the summer for a couple months and I thought, “this is amazing, this person is amazing.” And he is, because he doesn’t limit himself. He thinks, “hmmm, I want to go to China,” and instead of sabotaging himself with doubt or by not saving his money to make it happen, he just does it. A trip like that is something I would think about, but it would feel so distant, I would have never made it a reality…. because I was limiting myself. I know the only thing standing in the way of me and my goals, is myself. And I’m getting out of my own way….
I met a man about a year ago who helped me with my production, Sorry I’m Just Human. He was probably the kindest man I have ever met and he shared his story with me…. His life story and I felt so touched and he expressed how much he believes in my work. And in a field where you are so often surrounded by people that don’t seem to notice you or at least those moments stand out the most, it nearly made me cry, the fact that this man, this man I barley know thinks what I am doing is so important. Last week he called me out of the blue (we haven’t spoken in a year) and he of course had some amazing things to say and he contributed a significant amount of money to my kickstarter. It was very touching. In an email to me, he said,
“Sebastian, you are a Mensch. In Yiddish that word identifies a person of noble character…”
I will forever do my best to continue deserve such an honorable accolade.