Drake: How We Ended Up Back Together


I have had many a husband over the years, Jason Momoa, Jessie Williams, Michael Fassbender, but none have really stuck. This probably accounts for why I’ve been divorced so many times. Years ago, when Drake first emerged on the scene declaring that our love, in his own words, was, “The Best I Ever Had,” I knew he was something special. But, what I didn’t know was that “special” thing, was him being too emotional. Every time we had an argument, there was a song about it, for the entire world to hear. I had to listen to him cry as though his life is so hard, because i didn’t have time to call him back one day or because when someone asked, “Who’s your favorite rapper?”, I said J. Cole. I couldn’t deal with it, so I let him go. He chased Rihanna for a while, which was fine with me, but even she let him going, calling me last year to say, “Drake loves me too much.” Poor girl.

Anyway, as much as I try my best to avoid him, I occasionally run into him or get a long, drunken voicemail from him (many of you know these messages as songs, as a matter of fact, the Drake albums you buy, are just my voicemail box). When I heard “Started From the Bottom” I got nostalgic, he was right. We had started from the bottom, now look at us; he’s signing deals with Apple and I’ve upgraded to a 15 bean soup as opposed to a 6. He was mad at me for not responding to a text when he left “0 to 100” on my voicemail and honestly, I surprised he had the nerve to speak to me that way. It turned me on. Has he finally given up the tears and decided to be a boss? What’s he like in the sheets now? I could only wonder.

But, what really got me to take Drake back was something so simple. Not him “growing a pair” and responding to Meek Mill so eloquently, no, but rather, it was his beard. That beard with that fade… I took him back.

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