You already know what time it is; you want to watch a movie with some homoromantic love, some guy on guy, some girl on girl, some in between. You want that male nudity that Hollywood, despite having a euphemism for erection in its name, steers away from. Where’s the dick? You want something geared towards your needs and Pornhub skips all the foreplay. So, you turn to Netlfix to get your fix. For those who don’t know, you can leave your diplomas at home, because i discuss these films in laymen’s terms.
The Way He Looks
High school, it’s where it all starts, right? We all remember our first homo-romantic crush; it was new, it was scary, it was cute… At least looking back on it, it seems that way, even more so when it’s someone else’s life. The Way He Looks follows Leonardo, a high school student facing what most children his age face; battling with parents, bullies at school, and best friends. Leonardo just happens to be visually impaired. His slightly codependent relationship with his best friend, Giovanna is challenged when Gabriel arrives. Leo and Gabriel hit it off almost instantly, upsetting Giovanna, who at one point has a crush on both boys… I’m so glad those days are far gone. Anyway, I’m obviously not going to give the entire story to you on a plate, but I will say Leo is brave and I could relate to a lot of what he was going through; parents who keep you on a tight, tight leash, unrelenting bullies with too much time on their hands and that dreaded love triangle. I really cared for Leo, I wanted to help him, I was touched. There’s also a scene that really goes there. I’m sure we’ve all been to a place where the mere scent of the person you care for can turn you on, I know I’ve been there, I’ve never seen it portrayed so realistically. I really don’t know what else to say about this. It’s fantastic, it’s worth your time.
Rated: Awwww, the babies. I remember going through this, I hope this works out for all the babies… also how old is he? Am I allowed to think he’s cute? Teenage masturbation and butt.
I Killed My Mother
I love this fucking movie. Not so much romantic, but who the hell cares. The film follows Hubert, a high school Junior and his relationship with…. His mother, yes, how’d you know? Plot wise, I’m not even sure it matters what happens exactly… I mean obviously it does, but it’s the relationship between the characters, the way the film makers allow us to witness their behavior, their change in mood, their patterns and also this complicated, parent child relationship. Hubert loves his mother, but he doesn’t like her, or so he thinks. It is so interesting watching their behavior travel from one corner to the other, an argument turns into a heart felt apology, turns into, “I fucking hate you!” I can relate, to a certain degree, to this problematic relationship and I often found myself smiling out of recognition. His relationship with his boyfriend is not the focal point, which is refreshing. I love that there’s a film that’s not completely about the sexual gay experience, but about life… and his relationship is pretty stable… like, when do we get to see that? Of course, his sexuality plays a pretty significant role in the film. I really can’t say much about this film, because whatever I say won’t be good enough and will be a horrible injustice to the wonder that is this film. So…. just watch.
Rated: Love is complicated.
Cuatro Lunas follows four stories. I almost don’t remember what they were. Someone was cheating on someone else, someone sparked a relationship with a long lost childhood friend, a young boy who finds himself fond of his cousin, and an older male falls for a sex worker. Oh, wait, I remember them now. Excuse me for that lack luster description. There’s a lot going on here. Most of us adults can relate to at least 3 out of 4 of these stories. The little baby boy that crushes on his cousin breaks my heart. There’s something about being at a young age and just trying to explore what you feel naturally inclined to, and dealing with the discomfort and shame that can be placed on you by others. So many of us have been there and this little boy almost had me crying. AHHHHHHHHHHH! I want to take care of all the baby gays after watching this. Moving on, so the cheating couple… I was over it, because we all know this fucking situation; two guys in a relationship, one starts policing the other’s masculinity, the policed becomes insecure and makes himself so available to the other that he becomes annoying, the policer cheats, the policed still loves him and wants to work it out. I’m not saying it’s a bad story, but when I see myself making bad decisions in characters, I get upset. I used to be that person getting policed, making myself available. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! Anyway, what else? The chldhood best friends who find each other after like 10 years and fall in love with each other! AWWWWWWW, we’ve all had that friend, that friend we secretly crushed on so hard and isn’t it crazy when years later we found out, they were gay the whole time too! Look at God! Of course, you still have to deal with the internalized homophobia and closeted blah, blah, blah…. So, that happens. Then a professor… or was he a poet? No, a writer…. no, a poet, something academic and artful. Well, he’s married and he goes to the bath houses, you know how they do, looking for some young meet that’s not at all interested in them, putting themselves so far out there, there’s no way one could return. Anyway, they make a connection and its cute. You can watch it.
Rated: I want to see a homoromantic film with characters that aren’t white or black, jeez. Also, awwwwwwwwwwww.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, this is just too cute. I can’t. Look at God! I can’t. This film follows two young boys on the track team? Yeah, anyway, there’s always a brave one, and when these two boys find themselves alone one afternoon, swimming in a pond, lake, bath tub, whatever, a little playing around ends with an abrupt kiss, followed by another kiss…. followed by, “I’m not gay,” followed by, “of course you’re not”… we see where this is going, okay. It’s still the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and I think the more secondary story of one of the young boy’s family life is just as interesting. I really don’t want to say much about this, but I know somewhere around the last 15-20 minute of this film, I was on the edge of my seat, like, “What the fuck is he going to do?! Do something!” I was ready to jump in the film and play the role for him, I was like, “boy, you better get it together, you better get that teenage penis.” I was stressed, I think I legit had a drink and a cigarette after watching this. It’s another one that sort of re-imagines your past experiences.
Rated: I remember those days…..