I was inspired to write this after reading the following message this morning:
Make sure you mention in The Green Room how you take advantage of other artists who help you by not paying them money you owe them. You got balls inviting me to your page.
Good morning world! But, no, this person has a point. When I took on producing, Showbiz, my biggest production to date, I made mistakes, the unexpected happened every day, I bit off… a lot, and had trouble swallowing it. That is the reality of the situation. There are still 3 individuals waiting to receive money from me and Showbiz ended…. 9 months ago. Is that something that makes me happy? It is not. I never intended to be that person, ever. And as it all started unraveling, I was filled with so much guilt, as I try to do the best I can at all times. But, it seems my best was not enough in this situation.
So, what does that make me? I’m not sure, I guess it’s up to everyone in the world to decide for themselves.
Am I a horrible person who takes advantage of other people?
Am I a young, ambitious person who made a mistake?
Am I an irresponsible Millennial, who thinks they can do whatever they want?
Am I just like Steve Jobs when he was my age?… we’ll see
I don’t really know. It’s sort of like student loan debt, you agree to pay someone something, then life happens, and now you’re like shit… how am I going to do this? I will say, the fact that I owe others money is always in the back of my mind. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you can let yourself become overwhelmed with guilt, you can become depressed, you can do a lot of things. But, what you need to do, is accept that you’ve made an error and begin the process of rectifying that situation. Also, prepare yourself for messages like the one above. This person deserves their $75. But, I will say, if you spend enough time without a place to live, living on the street, with no food to eat, you may feel less guilty for a while, as survival instinctually takes precedent. But, as you get back on your feet, prepare to make amends.
And don’t let this feeling keep you from trying again in the future, or make you afraid to be seen or heard from again. You make a mistake, you learn from it. It’s already done, you can’t change it and you can’t punish yourself forever. Just be smarter. Hell, someone I worked with in December still owes me some money I would love to see right now, but I’m not even mad, cause, shit, I know what it’s like. Do you?