It’s been a while since I’ve seen a homoromantic masterpiece and with intimacy, affection, and romance at an all time low in my personal life, I almost cried tears of joy when the thought crossed my mind. Praise Jesus, Netflix has added a few new homoromantic movies. I clicked the first one I saw, I just couldn’t wait to see some homoromantic love, it lifts my spirit in a way that few things do.

John

Holding The Man is a time-hopping film that’s part coming of age film, part romance, part drama, that centers around a romance that develops between two Catholic School students in 1977 Australia, Timothy & John. Timothy is an actor in the drama department, he is a true character; loud, funny, sweet, almost rude, cute, and brave – he’s that friend that your mother has a crush on and every time he comes over your house, he does what he can to make you feel more uncomfortable with that fact. He’s that friend who, when naked photos of you leak on the internet and everyone at school is talking and pointing, takes all his clothes off and walks through the entire school, yelling, “What’s the big deal?” This character feels like a real, complete person, and it’s wildly refreshing, especially given that it’s an English speaking film.

John

John is introduced to us as during a football game on campus, he is aggressive, and fast, and seemingly good. But, when we experience John later in the film we are introduced to a much sweeter, calmer, quiet type. John is the truest of all sweethearts, he doesn’t speak as often as Timothy, but he’s present and he surprises us with his bravery throughout the film… He is brave. I admire the shit out of him. I want to be as brave as John when it counts. John is what we call “clutch”.

The pair’s relationship begins with such ease, in of the cutest scenes I’ve ever seen. After it has become quite clear that Timothy is crushing on John, after he takes every opportunity to talk to him at school, after Tim invites John to a dinner with friends and in a game of pass the kiss, where their lips briefly meet, in a moment that surprisingly didn’t phase John, Tim nervously calls John’s house one night. He gets John on the phone and is trying to get to the fact that he likes him, but he’s nervous and John, seemingly not knowing where this is going, rushes off the phone to get to the dinner table with his parents. Timothy is left feeling defeated until a few moments later when his mother informs him that a boy from school is on the phone. Tim, in the sweetest way possible, says, “I like you” and without skipping a beat, John says, “I like you too.” “Does this mean we’re going out?” said Tim. “You haven’t asked me yet,” responded John.

“John, will you go around with me?

“yes”

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As you may have imagined, Timothy & John’s love experiences much resistance from the outside world, in the beginning. We’ve seen it a million times, right? A parent finds out…. and they’re so disapointed, and they forbid it ever happen again, yadda yadda yadda. But, in every moment that you feel a solid expectation coming…. something different happens. This isn’t just a story that you’ve heard a million times, it’s a true story written by the man that the character “Timothy” is based on and it feels real. Sixty percent of what makes this film so powerful are the relationships. I don’t want to tell you much about the film, because I don’t want to spoil it for you, but you watch these men’s relationship grow over a 15 year period and you feel it, like it’s yours. From their first kiss to their brief break up when Tim goes away to drama school, to their last moments together. But, this film isn’t just about these characters, it’s about the lives of men who dared to love men during a time when it wasn’t accepted. Sure, we think we’ve all heard that story a million times, but this one does it a refreshing way. One of the most resonating moments in the film, for me personally happens while Tim is in a movement class at drama school, students are embodying monkeys, navigating the space together and separately as monkeys with their professor giving them guidance along the way (actors will get this). The professor says, “Tim, effeminate monkeys don’t get work.” That moment was so big for me and there are a series of other encounters with the church, parents, bar patrons and the like, that remind you of what people go through for love. Some of my favorite moments are between Timothy & John and their friends at school as they try to come to terms with their homoromantic love.

Again, I don’t want to tell you too much about this film, but I do suggest you watch it. There’s enough nudity to satisfy your curiosity, not too much that it’s distracting and it’s well acted. It’s one of my favorites.

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Sebastian in Philadelphia
Sebastian Cummings

You know what time it is! Time for some movies that suffer from the same heteronormative plot lines. Woot woot! Not that we don’t enjoy them, but some variation is necessary for survival, for inclusion. And a great source for something different is…. Netflix! So, I typed my way over to Netflix and searched for an option and one movie’s title literally spoke to me, it was called, All Yours (you saw it? you saw what I did there?) Let me tell you all about it while it’s still fresh on my mind.

So, as you may or man not know, I try not to give too many details away about the film. i don’t want to ruin the experience for you. It’s like when you’re watching a movie with your Mom and you’re like, “Mom, can tell me what this is about, but don’t ruin it.” And then she goes an tells every detail of the movie and the real lives of the actors playing the characters…. and then you cry. I won’t do that to you!

All Yours

Buy Bastian, the new album by Sebastian

So, here’s what you need to know: The movie focuses on Lucas, who is poor and has nobody int he world except his webcam followers, who seem to be focused on seeing him jerk off… fair enough. He’s desperate and poor so he asks his followers to send him money or a ticket somewhere (I feel like Ive been in a situation like this before…). Of course, someone bites and sends a ticket for Lucas to join their him. That person would be Henry, a man, most likely, twice the age of Lucas, who, right away, comes across as insecure…. This is headed for troubleeeeeeeeee…. I’ll skip the details, but Henry is controlling and in order for Lucas to stay with him, he makes him work in his bakery without pay aaaand, he makes him give up that D! To put it lightly, Lucas isn’t into it, but he doesn’t have very many options. Anyway, life goes on until these two lines are met by a third and they make a triangle… You see where this is going. I won’t give away anymore details, but I wills say there are many aspects of this film that many of us can relate to. Controlling partners in relationships which is often rooted in the fear of being alone, which makes the situation even more sad, because, suddenly you realize…. everyone is a victim in some way. It also made me think about a problem I’ve had for a little while now, which is being dependent on other people, it is the worst situation to be in. They always end up trying to control you and they hold the fact that you have nowhere else to go over you head. It’s not just strangers who do this, it’s friends, it’s family. If anyone knows they have a control over you, it seems they will exercise it, so don’t let that happen and don’t ever fear being alone, it’s better than being in the wrong company… Anyway, the movie is good, it will make you think, and it gives you hope.

Now, I know what you all are wondering… Is there nudity? Yes, the first two or three minutes of the film is filled with Dick; flaccid and erect. You see half a breast later int he film for about one minute. Some random partial nudity later (tons of butts) and then some dick, just in your face.. you’ll see.

All Yours

Rated:
This is cool, this is giving me anxiety now, because I’ve been both people in this situation at some point in my life, this is so sad, I hope things work out, I can’t believe I behaved that way… Is this almost over?

So, you’re searching for porn and you realize that while of course you enjoy seeing strangers fuck (it’s so weird when you think about that, right?), you really want to feel something. You decide you’re willing to sacrifice some of the sex for love… You want conflict, compromise, passion, dudes kissing dudes, women kissing women, butts, penises, breasts (through a different lens) and lack of heteronormative gender roles in relationships combined with the struggles faced by those who love someone with the same private parts. Well, I got yo back. Here’s one you should watch: Lilting.
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Lilting follows Richard (Ben Whishaw) who is dealing with the death of his sexy ass, biracial, I get an erection just hearing his name, boyfriend, Kai while simultaneously allowing us to see how kai’s mother, Junn (Cheng Pei-pei), is dealing with the loss of her beloved son. Junn- who had been temporarily put in a home while Kai figures out the best way to explain his love for a man, his live in boyfriend Richard, to his mother,- speaks 6 or 7 languages, none of them being English and hates Richard, who she believes is her son’s best friend, because of the amount of time taken away from her and her son. After Kai’s death, Richard begins visiting Junn at the home with a translator to help her communicate with her new boyfriend, who is also a resident of said home. In helping Junn, he helps himself.
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Okay so here’s why I like it….
Kai is fine. It’s superficial, but it is the truth. I would like to have homeboy for dinner. Yes, I would put his naked self on the dinning room table, tuck my napkin into my collar, light some candles, and have a 3 hour feast. I can’t lie to you, I respect you too much. Also, seeing how Kai and his mother interact reminds me of good times with my mother. There is something so special about a mother/son relationship, they are adorable and I enjoy visiting past feelings of my own, watching them. He loves her soo much! and she, him! Richard. Richard is a great guy and it becomes so clear that he truly loved Kai and it warms my heart to see that sort of love portrayed. It’s something I feel I don’t see enough between men… and I’d like to see it. It gives me hope for my own life. It makes me even happier for men that I meet in real life that are in love, it’s the only thing that keeps me from being a homewrecker and fucking your man. Richard is also sexy. But in a different way. I’d like to wake up on Sunday morning to Richard and his naked self, have an hour long conversation while holding him in bed, make sweet love to him and then make breakfast together. (my goodness, what would I do if had them both!) Anyway, this film is sweet. I also appreciate Junn and her love, her stubbornness, her fear, and her strength. Seeing how she and Richard navigate the discomfort that is their relationship, truly touches me heart.
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Rated:
Heart/breaking/warming.
Nudity? I think you might see like half a but, but frankly the armpits you get make up for it. Seriously, I’m not even normally into pits like that, but these two guys… they turned it around for me.

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I, most likely like you, can find no feeling like having a intimate homoromantic connection and since most mainstream film doesn’t focus on or attempt to honestly portray such stories, when I finally find one, it means… so much to me. Presque Rien is beautiful and I could see myself in the characters and found the situations somewhat familiar, which, in the world I just described, carries a lot of weight for me.

Presque Rien (Come Undone) follows Mathieu (Jérémie Elkaïm), a teenage boy who is vacationing with his family for the summer, as they do every summer. While on the beach, roughhousing with his sister, he catches glances from another young man he had seen at the beach a year before. He catches the glances and throws them back, but continues with his business. One day, Cedric (Stéphane Rideau, yes you remember his from Our Paradise!) follows him home and so began their relationship.
sebastian's guide to homoromantic netflix films come undone
The film splits its time between the summer the young men met and a little over a year later, and the happenings of that time. I don’t want to say too much about this, but as the film progresses, and cuts back and forth, between past and future, you learn a great deal about what’s to come and what lead to it, in a way that real life doesn’t offer. I greatly enjoyed watching the young men fall in love. The film really captures the feeling of not only what is happening between the characters, but the hot sun and the cool breeze and the soft light of the room and the warm summer evening air to the naked flesh. You can feel it, and I got a bit nostalgic, I guess for times in my life I imagine to be similar. Mathieu and Cedric are beings, in a way that don’t see often. They look at each other, they see each other, they get angry, they get happy, they get horny, they fight, they fuck, but it feels so…. so real. Not, real, as in what I see everyday. But, what everyday could be like if people truly engaged.
Sebastian's Guide to Homoraomantic netflix films come undone

I specifically remember a scene where they are out partying and dancing and Cedric gets into a fight when he runs into an ex-boyfriend. His behavior seems to upset Mathieu and he asks Cedric for an explanation. Cedric talks of his past working as a sex worker and briefly dating the guy he fought with. Mathieu is silent. Cedric stops him, pressing him against a brick wall on a relatively well let, but not so busy street. They look into each others eyes. Cedric touches his face and asks if he is upset with him, because of what he just learned. Mathieu says no, and looks to the side. Cedric asks again, he says no and looks at him, they kiss. It was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in a while. It’s been so long since I have had a true, intimate connection with someone and this film reminds me of that. Of course, nothing lasts forever. Change. This film gives a great deal, but still manages to leave a bit to the imagination when it comes to what exactly transpires in the future and yet it still feels complete. Combine all this with coming out stories, family drama, and the summer…
Sebastian's guide to homoromantic netflix films come undone
Rated: Beautiful coming of sexual maturity/ first love story crossed with the reality of change and pain. A pain you’ve most likely seen in someone else or felt yourself.
Nudity? There is flaccid penis in the first 10 minutes of this movie and it followed up with sporadic bits of full frontal and a cute love making scene on the beach.

sebastian's guide to homoromantic films our paradise


What can I say about this film? While scrolling through the Gay & Lesbian section in Netflix, I came across 2 or 3 options I felt in the mood for. Our Paradise had a bad rating, and given the fact that almost every (ALMOST) every homoromantic film I have watched on Netflix with a bad rating ended up being rather enjoyable, I decided this was the one!

The film begins. We meet Vassili. An “aging” hustler. Vassili is in his early 30’s and at every turn this film echoes the idea that when you are gay, your life ends at age 30, that youth and beauty are all we crave, seemingly regardless of the person they are attached to. An idea I think we all understand, but at the same time, I thought it was a bit much. Of course we all have different realities. If my livelihood depended on the sexual desires of affluent, gay men, I’d probably hear about and be more concerned with my age as well. But, I’ll save you from this digression.

We meet Vassili. He is handsome. He has maybe picked up a few pounds over the last…. hhmmmmm… three years. But, it’s nothing that would turn me off, in fact, it’s sort of sexy (just giving you perspective). He is with a client. An aging client, and I only use that language because the first 10 minutes of the film, this client speaks of nothing but his loss of youth, at first it’s sort of sweet and sad, but then it reaches a point where you either have to A. Fake an emergency to get out of the situation or B. Just be blatantly honest and say, “I really am not interested in what you have to say, can we please just fuck now.”

Apparently Vassili felt similarly, because when the client went to the rest room to freshen up, he snatched the chord out of the back of the record player, followed him into the restroom and strangled him until he fell to the ground, seemingly dead. This was unexpected and the film just keeps going from there. Vassili meets Angelo, a baby faced hustler, later that same evening. He’s been beaten up pretty badly. And while he had no concern for the well being of the man he choked with a chord, this young, beautiful stranger he just couldn’t leave alone and helpless. Angelo is cute, I feel he’s a grower, not a shower in the attractiveness department. He finds himself naked pretty often, but then again, so do I. The pair begin hustling together and fall in a sort of unexpected love with one another. But…. ahhhhh… there’s always something right. Vassili is often turned away from clients in favor of his younger lover, which does not enhance his ego. So, he does what a typical person might do and he kills them. I can’t tell you much more about all this, it gets complicated, money gets involved, escapes are necessary. I was shocked and worried… for everybody!

sebastian's guide to homoromantic films our paradise

Then the second half of the film started. I actually don’t want to tell you much about this half. I don’t have the words for why, but, we meet some new characters who are very special and it surprised me. Things escalate and Vassili and Angelo begin to develop that healthy couple idea of “it’s us against the world,” because that always ends well, but even with all the things they do to other people and danger they bring with them, you can’t help but feel charmed by them. I think this is a really great film. I enjoyed learning about an experience that is nothing like my own; the experience of a sex worker. They are put through so much mentally, and apparently physically. Ultimately, regardless of how good your intentions are, if your decisions are ruled by fear, you are bound to make some bad ones and this film is imaginary evidence of that fact.

Rated:
Awww, they are so cute. Awww, this is so dangerous. Awwww, how many times you can you have sex in one day? Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Shit.
Full nudity. Lots of bootay, a pretty good amount of flaccid dick.