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Locker room ASS ๐Ÿ‘…

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papa tae carrying tissues intend to clean the cheek mommy teetee but already papa kim and p'bas first,and looks he smile but papa tae look disappointed๐Ÿ˜ฏ _ …………..just my tought โœŒ๐Ÿ˜†โœŒ Thanks for the video๐Ÿ˜™ Edit by me๐Ÿ™† โคโคโคโคโคโค ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ @tae_darvid @tee_jaruji #perfectcouple #teethanapon #taedarvid #teethanapon #teejaruji #teeminimart #taetee #boyslove #boyfriendgoals #boyskissing #bromance #handsome #guy #actor #model #2moonstheseries #thailand #boyxboy #fangirls #loveislove #saranghe #solarproject #6moonsasiatour #sbfivewhenever #sbfivewhenevermv

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Every now and then I take Rihanna’s advice and shine bright like a diamond. I was conditioned early on to be fearful of being my most talented, expressive, intelligent, humorous self, because it often invited negative attention from others who wanted to prove I wasn’t “all that” even though I didn’t care one way or another. So, I just kept it to myself.

But, now that I have released myself from the commitment to adhere to the behavioral patterns I developed over the years, that do not serve me, I shine when I want to shine. And that’s that. The more I spend time doing the things I want to do for myself, the more I feel I shine and with very little to no effort (socially, that is).

And then last night happened… I was at a social gathering a friend of mine was hosting and I really felt alive. Everyone spoke English, so I was able to shine in ways that I haven’t been able to in a long time. My wit and sass came out of hibernation to hold court for the willing. And I loved it. I felt as though I was connecting with everyone and since I have been practicing consciousness and mindfulness, I often feel almost no insecurity. I did my best to do the things that I appreciate; help the host, start conversation, make people laugh, provide a playlist, and most importantly, make sure everyone feels included.

The universe had a bit of a surprise for me, though. At the end of the night, we left a party and I expressed that I wished I had gone to another party because I think it would have been more fun and more suitable to my taste as an adult who wants to do more than move back and forth to loud music in a public place. This seemed to offend a member of the group, who responded with, “if you didn’t like being here so much, why were you touching my dick all night?”

First. Context.

The group is mostly Gay American Collegiate Males. The youngest being 21 years of age…. I am 30 years old.

Back to the story.

I was very surprised when this young man fixed his mouth to say this to me, because I literally had not even shaken this man’s hand. As a matter of fact, I think I was close to this man for a total of maybe 5 minutes over the course of 5 or 6 hours. As a matter of fact, I think he crossed my mind maybe 3 times over the night. I don’t mean this in a rude way, but it’s just fact. So, when he opened his mouth to make such a strong, public accusation, I was in shock. As you can imagine.

I was in such shock, that I began to defend myself, something I don’t usually do, because…. I don’t have to. But, I couldn’t believe it. As I did so, his friends laughed at me, one tried to pick a fight with me, telling me I should leave.

I should leave?

Nigga… for what? Because you’re white socialized American friend just falsely accused me of sexually harassing him? I should leave? Literally no one so much as asked a question, batted an eye. Everyone just adjusted their brains to auto pilot and continued on. It felt surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening and that it was unfolding so quickly.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, years ago, this would have deterred me from social interactions. I would think, “I don’t want to try anymore, because I don’t want anything like this to happen again. I don’t want to hurt in this way again, so I will protect myself.” It’s true, I do not want this situation to happen again. But, I will not go into hiding. I was being my best self that night. Considerate, funny, caring. I will not stop because my honesty inspired negativity in this child. I refuse to let someone else shape my image of myself. This man’s accusation has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I know who I am, I literally ask a man for permission to kiss him. I actually did it earlier that night with a man, with whom I was enjoying time at the party. I asked. He said, “not yet”. So, I waited.

It feels a bit sad to me that the people I have the most in common with on paper, are the ones who created a problem with me. Gay American Males. Black Women From The Islands. If there were a character analysis based on our life circumstances, one would think, that me and these people would get on swimmingly. I’m not sure someone would guess, that in THIS group, I would be falsely accused of sexual harassment. Initially, it hurt so much because, I was honestly just so excited to make friends. I was so grateful. And though, I have no proof, so I can’t make an official accusation against my accuser, as he did me, it feels as though this was an act of insecurity. It felt that my shining combined with my interest being placed elsewhere offended him. And it’s situations like that, that in my childhood, would have inspired me to hide. But, I won’t. I will not. So many thoughts run through my mind, would that have happened if I were white? How did he feel so comfortable creating this false narrative? Why did literally no one question it? But, I learn to silence these thoughts, because they do not matter. They are not my business. You cannot stop me. Stop stopping yourself.

I accept that the situation took place. But, I will not develop behavior that hurts me, to cope with it. And if anything, this was a pleasant experience, I’m glad I got the opportunity to learn how this group of people behave is such situations, the first day I met them, because I know that I am not interested in surrounding myself with this behavior. And I learned it on day one. Not months after bonding, and getting to know each other. Day One. Done.

Facebook, itself, is just a website, but add the people of today and the fact that it has become a stream of consciousness for people drowning in insecurities, fears, assumptions, ignorance, and the like … well, then it becomes a nightmare. So, I took some notes from the book of faces and shared with you, what I found funny and inspirational. I hope you enjoy and that your day is better for it.

 

 

The other day, I was speaking with a student of mine who wanted to know about my life, and so I told them. And for the first time in a while, I heard myself… and I couldn’t believe the life I was describing is that of my own. Last year, I…

Stayed at a Nude Resort at a Nude Beach

oaxaca mexico nude beach heaven happy new yearCan you imagine? Just 5 years ago, the idea of going to a nude beach would have scared the shit out of me. But, this year, I threw all fucks to the wind… and clothes. I went to Zipolite, a nude beach in Oaxaca. It’s everything you would imagine it to be; a beach with naked people. The surprising thing, was how normal being naked became. In fact, it was odd when people were clothed! There was a silent bonding experience that everyone experienced and it was one of the most rewarding adventures of my life.ย  I stepped out of my comfort zone and I enjoyed it immensely.

oaxaca mexico nude beach heaven happy new year

 

 

 

 

 

I Took a German Language Course!

Berlin german language course

While in Berlin, I took a German language course! I think everyone is under the assumption that German is one of the most difficult languages, and fuck, everyone is right. This shit is off the charts. I honestly think they purposefully made German a difficult language so others wouldn’t bother learning it, and German’s could easily avoid speaking to any and everyone else. But, I digress. The class was rewarding, because I learned so much and I met these crazy weirdos from all over the world.

I Attended The International Summer School Of Physical Theatre!

I already made a post about this experience, but it’s worth mentioning again. I traveled alone, to a country I have never been, where the native language is not my own, to meet 11 other people, from 10 other countries, and with 10 other languages… for THEATRE! This was, hands down, the best time I have ever had, working on Theatre. Was it easy? No. 12 hours days of physical theatre training, c’mon. Was it rewarding? Fuck yeah, it changed my life.

 

I Performed at The Stud!

The Stud: one of the most well known Gay Establishments in The US of A. I had been there a million times and after year of not performing, I got the chance to run up on that stage and do the damn thing…. So, I did.

I Lived In Mexico!

Mexico City Roma Norte

That’s right! I wasn’t just going to nude beaches, I straight up lived in Mexico. I hopped on a plane, by myself and landed in a country I had never been, where I was not very confident or knowledgeable of the language. But, guess what? I learned, mother fucker! For me, this is major! Growing up, I was so shy and so afraid to do things on my own… and look at me now! I’m unstoppable. Next year, I will be visiting new planets for the first time, who knows. I hear there are aliens out there to meet….

I Saw This Video….

What a year! And this is just the stuff I could post online, there’s so much more I could tell you…. trust me!

I think, most of us in this world are fighting to be understood. We are walking around everyday, asking, “But, do you get what I am saying? What I mean? What I am?” And this only happens after finally realizing, we are not the simplified stock-characters, we were brought up to believe we are. And it seems, the people we hope understand us the most, are our romantic partners. We apply so much pressure in those relationships, because, it is in these relationships, we often allow ourselves to be the most vulnerable. And yet, it seems, these are the people we hurt the most.

I remember being wildly unhappy in Philadelphia, because I did not feel understood, due in part by all the describing; black, gay, queer, etc…. You know who me being “black” matters to? People who aren’t black. You know who being “gay”ย matters to? People who aren’t gay. It’s as though, I was constantly presenting myself to and being described by people who thought of me as “other”. Every time I would read a description, I would think, “Why is the first line, Black Artsist? That’s what I am?” Sure, I’m black, some would say it’s obvious, but you mentioning it seems to imply, that is what is most important, when really, what I am offering, is. People who understand you, do not constantly describe you by your “qualifications”, they describe you by who you are.

What’s funny is, I’m not sure most of the men I have dated, have had a real idea of who I am. For one reason or another, I don’t think it’s been what’s at the forefront. I’m not even sure it’s been an important factor. What seems to be most important, to the type of man I have found myself with, is how I make them feel. Which is a bit one sided. Call me old fashioned, but I often take the Kennedy approach, when I say, “My fellow humans, ask not what your romantic partner can do for you, but what you can do for your romantic partner.” I think this struggle is often greater for those of us who have faced, dare I call it, “romantic oppression,” during our lives.

I wonder, who, if anyone I know, gets me. My mother, for sure. My sister, sometimes. My father… only understands what he doesn’t like about me… which is just about everything. But, who in my lifeย undersands me. Who do I understand? When I meet someone and experience that feeling of instant recognition, I make it my goal to try and understand that person, to get them, but I am often met with pretend, so elaborate, it is unaware of itself. The last director I worked with for instance, never stopped for a moment to see me, to see me beyond superficial judgments based in their own insecurity and need for ego pleasing. Here’s what it felt like, “TFW you call Verizon to ask a question too complicated for google and instead of being greeted by a human, you must speak with a computer.” “Did you say I already played with my Phil?” No! I did not. Are you listening?

Many of us feel there is a lot going on in the world right now, because it is affecting us right now, but I think there is always a lot going on. And I think the biggest favor we can do for ourselves and those around us, is to accept that maybe we know nothing about our neighbor. That our assumptions are not fact, just because we feel strongly about them. I recently watched a round-table discussion between commercially successful comedians and I remember one of them saying something to this effect: “I find that audiences respond better to things that are more personal (in comedy), that it’s more universal. You would think it would be the opposite, it’s personal, but people respond to humanity.” Maybe above all, have some humanity?…